Sand Pit

We're coming to the end of the summer holiday,

With the kids at home I've progressed to grey,

So I decided to meet some mums with their minors,

And got stuck with talk of their stretched vaginas.

I escaped and took my kids to the sand,

My little boy loved it, 'ice cream' he'd demand

My girl however, the tears start to flow.

We'd only just got there, but... is it time to go!?

My boy plays nicely with a bucket of sand,

I calm my girl gently, I had it all in hand.

Then his bucket of sand went over her head,

She screamed again, 'I thought she'd like it', he said.

Before I know it she is eating the sand,

This certainly isn't how I had my day planned,

Why can't she behave and quietly sit??

Now, when she poos she'll have sandpaper shit. 

We decide to move on and go to the swings,

And hear the mums talk of more childbirth things,

'Mine sleeps through' one of them said,

I'm just knackered and can't remember my bed.

This weekend I'm back in my fast response car,

As my wife takes the kids on adventures afar,

They'll sleep in a tent and hope it stays standing

Subscribe to hear if they have a crash landing.